The boys are doing well today. Camp has yet ANOTHER tooth coming in - poor baby. I know they have to hurt like crazy. Ugh.. I'll be happy when he's done with that for a while. He's still a sweetheart though - I'm madly in love with both my little men.
Andy is doing great! His hair is coming is so well - and it's sooooo incredibly soft and fine. I just love to pat his sweet head. He's aparently started with the separation anxiety early - if I leave the room - he is an unhappy boy.. sniff.. breaks my heart - but hey, I have to work, I have to clean the house - I have to do laundry.. LOL!
On a personal note - I'm more than likely not going to leave this comment up long, maybe just the weekend, then I'll be a chicken and take it down.. but on a personal note - i am not well. My poor family is having a hard time (though don't tell the kids) and well - I'm really really depressed about the whole situation. We're having to move - which means finding new homes for my beloved dogs, leaving my wonderful house, and upheaving my entire life.. but I couldn't keep up with the illusion, so in misery, we have to give in. I'm not at all happy. There hasn't been a night where I haven't cried myself to sleep and woken up sobbing in the last 2 months. I'm beside myself. But - short of a miracle - we just can't continue. So - we're looking for a rental. I found a possible right down the street from my sister. It's very small - but, on our budget, what can we do, right? I'm trying to convince myself that I am not the worst mother in the world, and the worthless human being I believe that I am - but it's hard. Really hard. And I am dealing with some old demons now. I just wish someone could make it all better.. but that's not going to happen. I get the feeling sometimes that the world would just be better off without me - but then I look at my kids, and I think about what they would grow up with. So, I smile, I laugh, I fake that absolutely nothing serious is the matter - when in truth, I'm falling apart completely. I hate this. I hate everything about it.
Andy is doing great! His hair is coming is so well - and it's sooooo incredibly soft and fine. I just love to pat his sweet head. He's aparently started with the separation anxiety early - if I leave the room - he is an unhappy boy.. sniff.. breaks my heart - but hey, I have to work, I have to clean the house - I have to do laundry.. LOL!
On a personal note - I'm more than likely not going to leave this comment up long, maybe just the weekend, then I'll be a chicken and take it down.. but on a personal note - i am not well. My poor family is having a hard time (though don't tell the kids) and well - I'm really really depressed about the whole situation. We're having to move - which means finding new homes for my beloved dogs, leaving my wonderful house, and upheaving my entire life.. but I couldn't keep up with the illusion, so in misery, we have to give in. I'm not at all happy. There hasn't been a night where I haven't cried myself to sleep and woken up sobbing in the last 2 months. I'm beside myself. But - short of a miracle - we just can't continue. So - we're looking for a rental. I found a possible right down the street from my sister. It's very small - but, on our budget, what can we do, right? I'm trying to convince myself that I am not the worst mother in the world, and the worthless human being I believe that I am - but it's hard. Really hard. And I am dealing with some old demons now. I just wish someone could make it all better.. but that's not going to happen. I get the feeling sometimes that the world would just be better off without me - but then I look at my kids, and I think about what they would grow up with. So, I smile, I laugh, I fake that absolutely nothing serious is the matter - when in truth, I'm falling apart completely. I hate this. I hate everything about it.
posted by MamaReeves | 9:03 PM
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